Confessions of a Cook-a-Holic

Hi, I am Emily and I am a cook/recipe/chef-a-holic. 

I think I've known this for awhile, but Sunday night I finally was able to verbalize it to Greg and he immediately agreed.  Lucky for him, he said it very nicely, "I have been thinking that too."  I LOVE to cook.  I LOVE to find new recipes.  I LOVE when Greg comes home and tells me how awesome my food is.  I LOVE when the kids like what I make.  I LOVE bringing yummy dishes to family or friends houses and they enjoy them.  

BUT, I am doing it too much, at the price of my family.  

In my Power of Mom's learning circle this month we talked about balance and at first I thought I had that okay.  I felt like I had a lot of me time (less with summer, but I still manage to squeeze some in), and that I did a lot for my kids, my husband, my calling and my friends.  That sounds balanced, right?

Then Sunday came around.  

For breakfast I tried a buttermilk carmel syrup (1) over sourdough french toast.  YUM!!  I started the Chocolate Cherry Ice Cream  (2) before church since it had to chill all day before churning it.  After church I made grilled onions and potatoes (3) for Greg to cook outside.  Next up was the salmon with an orange marmalade marinade (4).  We shelled a bunch of peas from our garden to go with dinner (5) and when the salmon was done I threw in the pesto and mozzarella bread (6) that was done after we started dinner so it didn't get eaten all that much.  I am exhausted thinking about it all.  Why did I do this?  We weren't having guests, I just LOVE to cook.  I get validation from it. I get praise.  As a mom I don't get a lot of validation and praise from my kids very often, or from anyone.  But with my cooking, I do.  

At church in Relief Society we had a lesson on family responsibilities.  And that is where it hit me.  Greg thankfully had Callie and I was able to sit and really listen to the lesson.  Sarah talked about how a mother's main role is to nurture.  And like usual, I thought, "I'm doing good with that."  Then I really thought about it and that is when I realized that I cook WAY too much.  I try to try as many recipes as I can in a month, in a week, in a day as you can see from my Sunday story.  WOW!  

So now I have accepted the truth.  I know what I am doing wrong.  But it is something I love so how can I stop or slow down?  How can I not try new recipes?  How will my ego hold up if no one is telling me I am good at something?  I'm not sure yet how I will cut back.  I will.  Maybe it will be just 3 new recipes a week.  Or less.  Maybe we will eat out more, even though I am mostly disappointed when we go out now since I have become a bit of a food snob.  I am not sure yet what is my next step.  But I am conscious of the fact that I need to get out of the kitchen and back with my kids more.  I know it will help me be a better mom and less stressed out and exhausted at the end of the day.  That is how I will find more balance in my life.